I have been so overwhelmed by the things happening to me especially in my marriage. I don't understand and cannot figure out how I got to this situation.
Victor had been calling me non stop, although I don't pick the phone, he leaves messages and visit the children when I am not around Thanks to my mum for being extra nice. He sends money to my account for the children's upkeep. I honestly want to give up and let go, I am hurt beyond my imagination. If anyone had told me that I will encounter this in my life probably I would have treaded carefully before marrying Victor.
The past 8 months, I have dedicated more time to my Job and the children. I have more contracts than ever. I have an office space not far from my parents home. One day after work I got home quite late. I decided to go for a drive just to clear my head. When I got home mum was sitting in the Lounge looking quite restless. She is one of those mothers that get frightened if their child didn't get home within the usual time.
I apologised as I walked through the door.
Onos she said I need to talk to you, I didn't want to say no, so I sat down quietly opposite mum.
My Daughter, I have been through the worse in life and I wouldn't want you to grow through similar or same situation as myself. I need to share my story before it becomes too late or any further damage.
............................Mum's Story.............................
I met your Dad at a friend's house, they were cousins. From the day he saw me he became fixated and told his cousin his intention. I was quite adamant because I was unsure if I liked him or it. To cut the long story short we got married 3 years after the first time we met. I waited for six years before I could conceive. I gave birth to a boy and he was called Lawrence. When Lawrence came into our lives, we pampered him so much but I over-pampered him. I was so attached to him I did't realise I was neglecting my primary role as a wife. Your dad was pushed by my attitudes, he started sleeping around. I found out after six months that he was cheating on me. I confronted him and I fell into the depression it lingered in my life for so long. Lawrence started feeling the heat of the strain in our marriage. One day I woke up very late but I had totally forgotten about my child, all I thought about was myself. it was not until 12 pm that I jolted myself out of my depression that I went to check on Lawrence. Alas he was stone cold, dead in bed he was only sixteen months. I fainted at the sight of that. Your dad came in just in time to get the ambulance to take me to hospital but they couldn't save Lawrence he died as a result of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). The statistics of children that died due to SIDS was very low at that time. When I was discharged I was arrested whilst they did investigations, it was double tragedy in a way. It was during this period that I met Christ, it was the darkest period of my life that led me to the everlasting life and light.
Your dad and I reconciled afterwards but it took the loss of our child for us to come to our senses. I was released on bail after a month in prison but my name was kept in the record for 5 years. I was very careful around children because any mistake meant a longer jail term.
In the period of 5 years I got pregnant but the miscarriages followed. It was like God decided to give me a greater punishment. The last pregnancy nearly took my life in the process I lost my womb so I couldn't conceive again. Then my name was taken off the record. That was when we decided to go into fostering we fostered a lot of children. When you came into our lives your name drew me close to you and I prayed that you won't be taken away or they won't find adoptive parents for you. After 4 years of fostering you, we filed for your adoption. It was a struggle, after a year we were granted the adoption and I vowed to look after you just like my biological child.
The tear dropped from her left eye, Onos I know victor hurt you but he didn't cheat on you, He already had a child He should have told you but we all make mistakes.
She pulled me close to her, Onos my princess and joy I want you to forgive him. I see the pain in him when he visit the children when you are not home. You haven't listened to his part of the story.
By the time mum finished I was in tears, not because of my situation but for what my parents passed through before they could have a child to call their own. Now I see the reason they wanted to be grandparents. Mum I said "I will make amendment, thank you for sharing your story with me". We hugged and then she let out the well of tears she was holding back in both eyes.
......................Going Forward................
As I went to bed that night after praying I was listening to music as I usually do and the song was Moving Forward by Israel Houghton
I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to you my past is over in you
All things are made new, Surrender my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward
You make all things new
You make all things new
Yeah, and I will follow you
said I will follow you
You make all things new
Yes You make all things new
And I will follow You forward
The weekend following my daughter and mother encounter, I allowed Victor to see me it's been nearly 9 months since I saw Victor. As he came in the children ran to him but he couldn't shift his gaze off me even though he was holding the boys. He had lost so much weight, I saw the pain and guilt in his eyes. He dropped the children gave them some things he bought for them. Mum came in to take the boys away so we could talk.
Victor knelt down as he begged for my forgiveness, he said his side of the story.
He was not married before, he had a girlfriend who had a child for him and that's the nurse. She used the document to get to every girl friend he had in the past but he managed to hide our relationship away from her prying eye especially when he moved away from the city the nurse lived. He said he does his right as a father to the child but have a relationship that isn't so good with the mother. He told me how she had burnt down his flat purposely at night and how he was saved at the last minute because of the sound of the smoke alarm. She could have gone to jail for that but he covered her for the sake of the child. He told me his parents misunderstood the part of the marriage bit when I called to inform them but because I didn't communicate with anyone aside my parent after that no one could shed light on the dark things the lady told me. I couldn't help but notice how much weight Victor had lost, he smelt nice but the colour code of his dressing wouldn't be so if I was at home.
We made up after much explanation and we decided to renew our vow. I moved home two weeks after Victors visit. My parents told me they were travelling the night before that they will come and visit me when I am much settled at home.
As Victor parked the car I noticed the lawn was well groomed. The boys were just looking around but the didn't stop asking "mummy, daddy ....." the rest of their word were in their baby language. As we entered the smell coming out was of my favourite food, the lights were off. I went straight to switch it off the next thing I heard was S..U..R..P..R..I..S..E.. my parents and friends were there, work colleagues, neighbours and few family. I turned around to look at Victor, he was just giggling. He came close and said Onos my love I vow never to hurt you again, I know we planned to renew our vow in couple of months but I decided to have it done now before all the people that matter to us in life.
Three months after renewing of our vow we moved from the house to another one quite close to my parents. I have learnt to listen no matter how bad the situation is. Victor had been quite supportive and more loving than before. There is nothing that God cannot repair and there is no past that should be allowed to ruin one's future. As a family we attend a church and Victor has become quite close to God than the past. There is always a second chance if we don't give up.
Questions
Do You think Onos getting back with Victor was right?
Has there been a point in your life where you have allowed your past or someone else's past to rule the present or future?
Reflect on moving forward but first make your way right with God.
Matters of the Heart By Be Inspired by His Word 2017©
