Opps! I can't believe how clumpsy I am at times oh I have just messed up my lovely dress while eating and chatting on skype. I have to stop one and concentrate on the other now.
Dumi! Dumi!! Dumi!!! (My flatmate came in shouting) what is it again. Yele I thought you were out for the day why are you shouting my name do you want the neighbours to report us again.
Well dear friend for all I care the neighbours can report us to the Prime Minister but I can't stop shouting 'cause I have a great news Yele said.
Great news!! Spill it Sis! My ears are itching for such go on.
Hmm! You know that application I sent to the company at Docklands, last week I had a response that I had been shortlisted. I went there on Friday for an aptitude test and an interview infact throughout the interview I was blabbing gibberish. I was so nervous and the answers I gave I was unsure if they were right. When I left the place I already placed a long line on it infact I deleted the probability of me been considered but when I got home that day we had a discussion about the power of the word and you said something Dumi that "if you don't believe the word you can't depend on it or use it, but if you believe the word you can depend on it and you can use it effectively."
I went to bed that night using Psalms 102:13 GNB "You will rise and take pity on Zion; the time has come to have mercy on her; this is the right time." I held on to faith asking God to right my wrongs, have mercy and favour me in all areas. I was busy enjoying my day out when the email came through saying I have been given the post and the start date is next Monday.
At that point, Yele hugged me so tight I felt my breath would seize she insisted we went out for a drink. I was happy for Yele since she graduated she had been job haunting. She isn't lazy so she took up menial jobs to make ends meet but this job is worth it because she is qualified for it and the pay is awesome. After the drink out Yele decided she wanted to go to her parents house to tell them the good news and spend the rest of the weekend with them.
That night at home in my bed I was grateful and ungrateful. I was grateful because God answered Yele even when she never thought He would but because she had faith in the word. I was ungrateful because I was still waiting for some prayer requests to be answered and all I could see was what God hasn't done I was blind to what He has done, what He is doing and His promises of what He will do. I became restless , my spirit was fighting my thoughts, promises that had come to pass kept flashing in front of me I didn't know when I went on my kneels and started asking for mercy of God. After my prayer of mercy I slept like a baby.
The following day was a Sunday, I have to get to church early, I stood in front of my wardrobe clueless of what to wear after picking four different dresses I heard a voice say "you have a choice because you have more than one yet you regard it as nothing." I turned round to see if Yele was back but no I was the only one at home. I quickly picked a dress ironed it got ready and left for Church. On my way to church I saw a lady struggling to keep hold of her children at first I looked at the kids and I thought hmmm! This kids lack morals see how they are disobeying their mum how I wish I could go to them and give them a spank.
Gbam!! Was the next thing I heard at first I thought wao! what on earth was that not realising one of the kids I was busy analysing and judging had just thrown a sharp object at me which hits and broke my glasses thank God it didn't go inside my eyes. I was furious what a way to start a Sunday. Their mother quickly ran towards me very apologetic oh my sister in an African accent. I am so sorry she bursted into tears at this point tgis kids stood there laughing pulling their mother's clothe. When she bursted into tears she started saying God when will you wipe my tears away this children you gave me ae going to kill me. I could tell she was frustrated. She asked me how much my glasses cost but seriously! I wasn't going to make her pay after what I heard and my conclusion. The children had learning disabilities oh my! I have experience working with such children but still I couldn't tell their disability at first I was judging their naughty attitudes. Lord have mercy on me please. I checked my watch I was almost late for church.
I said to the lady don't worry about my glasses but if you don't mind can I help you because you seem very upset would you follow me to church? She said yes. I approached the kids it was like something came over them when I moved close to them I asked them if they would like to follow me to my church and they just nodded. On our way to church the woman told me about her life how she married the love of her life, how having two disabled kids had broken her marriage and how she is suffering from High blood pressure. She is a non practising Christian, she had lost purpose for her life. I couldn't help but forget my worries and just start encouraging her as the Lord enabled me to.
After church that day the woman came to me to show appreciation for inviting her to church. She said she felt a peace she had lost long time ago has returned to her. We exchanged numbers and I promised to pay her a visit and call her regularly. She joined the church that day. A friend from church offered to drop the lady at home with her kids. On my way home as I waited for my bus I couldn't help but think about my day so far. Here I am with lots of things to thank God for yet I am not thankful enough. There is this lady even with those challenges that are physically draining her ability of being a mum she came to thank me for bringing her to church.
My ingratitude has made me so blind and forgetful of how far God had brought me. I came to live abroad over 15 years ago at the age of 13. I knew nobody except the people who brought me abroad to come and work for them. I remember I was the youngest of five children. My father was a farmer until He was killed on his way back from the farm. The land was taken from us leaving us with the house. The first two years mother tried her best doing whatever she can do to put food on the table. My siblings left for the city one after the other. They never came back home. When I was 10years mum fell sick neighbours rally round her to help but unfortunately she died. I stayed with the neighbours from one house to another until when I was 13years that a neighbour's child came from abroad to get a maid. I was the only one that fits the profile of the maid they wanted and that was my turning point.
I remember the period when mum was sick, when we ran out of food, I will go to the market as a help to carry people's goods from where they bought it to their vehicles. I will sweep the rice shop for grain of rice that I will take back home, seperate the dirt from the rice so we can eat. Life was terrible I never saw any of my siblings. We couldn't tell if they died, survive or they just forgot where they came from. I will hawk on the road and go back home to my sick mother. I became an adult even though I was a child. I blamed God for my father's death, I blamed my siblings for being forgetful, I blamed the nation I was born, I basically cursed my existence just as job did in Job 3:3a "may the day of my birth perish,". Life was very unbearable when mother died I just felt so lonely and lost, I lacked focused, faith, strength and purpose of existence.
The Ngemas that brought me abroad were my rescuing angels. When I got to the foreign land that is now my home I couldn't speak English I was enrolled for home tutoring pending the time I got a place in school. Eunice Ngema was my adopted mother, before I knew it, I was a citizen of a western country. I learnt so quick and made sure I did all that please the Ngemas I took care of their children like they were my flesh and blood. We had a great bond and we still relate with each other like blood related family. I still use their name as my last name, I purposely do not wish to stick to my real surname which is Tsebo. God has brought me so far in life that I can't but appreciate His leading.
The Ngemas were the family God used for my salvation. They were believers, they taught me how to pray and importance of believing God. I remember a particular night I woke up after a constant nightmare repeated itself. I was sweating and screaming. Mrs Ngema ran to my room prayed for me and ask me to read Psalms 91"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty ."
I couldn't sleep afterwards my eyes were wide open. I decided to watch the TV it was quite late so the programmes on weren't pleasant. While flicking through I saw a programme on a christian channel Titled "it's real". I was curious what the programe was about so I decided to watch. A man who grew up with a cocaine addict mother was the one sharing his story of salvation. He talked about how different men came to sleep with his mother and whatever money she manage to get from them she spent most of it on drugs and the remaining fraction on the upkeep of her son. He talked about how he scavenged for food as a boy and how his mother will go out days on end without looking back. How he had to grow up quicker than his biological age. He said one night one of his mother's clients came in beat her up and she almost died. He was hiding behind the kitchen doors. There was so much blood that he thought his mother was dead. When the attacker left he quietly went to his mother's side she was struggling to breath. It was late in the night, He said a friend of his had told him about God at school how they prayed and taught him Psalms 143:1-2 GNB"Lord , hear my prayer! In your righteousness listen to my plea; answer me in your faithfulness! Don't put me, your servant, on trial; no one is innocent in your sight."
He said he asked God for help because His mother was losing so much blood and there was no one to help. The phone in their house wasn't connected but he picked it up and dialled the emergency number. Miraclously, it worked. He told the operator about his mother and that was the saving grace and turning point for him and His mother. That moment He believed and knew God makes what men classified unreal to be real. He also shared other experience of miracles God had done for him and others he knew. I was so moved by the programme and I read Psalm 91:9-16 NIV If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord , “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
That night I dedicated my life to Christ and He hasn't forsaken me since. He has always been there for me. I have been too familiar with God's kindness that I am beginning to take it for granted. I was taken from nothing and made something a dried leaf that was brought back to life, God had done so much in my life but my immediate thirst for promotion at work has deemed the light that shine over my life which reminds me of giving thanks for where I was, where I am and where I will be. Oh father, forgive me of my sins, according to Psalm 51:10-12 NIV "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
The next weekend, I went home to the Ngemas I haven't been home since Christmas although I spoke to Aunty Eunice and Uncle George every week and their children, I speak to them almost everyday. The kids see me as their big sister, their parents never told them we weren't blood relation. When I went home Peace (Kagiso) just got back from university and was so happy to see me. We had a very good time and everyone went to bed late. As I was going to bed Aunty Eunice told me to wait that we needed to talk. Oh my God I hope it's not about thesame thing. I was just praying within me, when she said by now you know what I want to talk to you about. Dumisani, Dumi, my beautiful daughter I give praise as your name implies for the grace of God upon your life daughter. Kagiso, I mean Peace your sister as you love to call her name in English, Munashe and Tatenda look up to you always. Infact they listen to you more than me and I am glad of the loving bond between you all.
Dumi when will you bring the right man home? In less than two years, you will be thirty two years old, I want to see my grandchildren. I don't see you as a stranger, I might not be your biological mother but I see myself as your mother. Is there anything wrong do we need to intensify in prayers? Or is there anything that is bothering you? Speak to me daughter.
At this point I just couldn't resist the tears and I called Aunty Eunice 'ma' I appreciate all you are doing for me. As you thought me I must not give myself cheap to any man. As a believer as well, I need to wait and not be in a rush. I want a man like Uncle George a father and caring husband you two are my role model but ma do pray for me and I believe we will celebrate soon that night she prayed for me like she was my real mother using Isaiah 34:16 NIV "Look in the scroll of the Lord and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together."
I went to bed that night giving thanks to God for this family He gave me. Blood isn't the only connection for a real family love, fear and faith in God builds the bond in a family. I Ieft very early on monday. I didn't feel like leaving I miss them already. As I got on the train that morning my heart was filled with gratitude and hope for the future. It was a 2hours 45 minutes commute to my place of work. I never knew my in heart gratitude plastered a smile on my face. The guy sitting opposite thought I was smiling at him. He smiled back about twice until I realised he was smiling at me I quickly changed the expression on my face and also changed my seat. He was shocked, I put my headphones on and I started listening to music on my phone, the song I was listening yo was
Jekalyn Carr Greater is coming was playing ...
If it had not been for the shaking
I never would have been ready for the making, no
If it had not been for the beating
I would have never knew how anointed I would be.
If it had not been for the pressing
I wouldn't be able to walk into my destiny.
He's preparing me, preparing me, preparing me for greater...
I feel a shaking in the Spirit
I feel a beating in the Spirit
I feel a pressing in the Spirit
Preparing me for greater...
I feel a shaking in the Spirit
I feel a beating in the Spirit
I feel a pressing in the Spirit
Greater (greater is coming)
Wanna let you know greater (greater is coming)
Hey, greater, yes it is (greater is coming)
Said I know that my greater is coming (greater is coming)
Can you just lift your hands and say greater (greater)
Is coming (is coming)
Eyes haven't seen (greater)
Ears haven't heard (is coming)
My greater is coming (greater)
My greater is coming (is coming)
Hey...(greater is coming)
I feel a shaking in the Spirit, God knows
Feel a beating in the Spirit
I feel a pressing in the Spirit
This song just came on the right time. I kept putting it on repeat till I got off the trian. I noticed someone walking up close to me I turned back and it was the guy who sat opposite me on the train I had changed seat when I saw him mistaking my smile for gesture towards him. He said I am sorry I had to come after you but I couldn't let you go please don't walk off as if he knew I was about to do that. I am Samuel Johnson if you don't mind may I know your name I said "my greater is coming," I beg your pardon? Oh sorry I am Dumisani Ngema. Oh I was about to say my greater is coming is a unique name he laughed. Do you mind if I gave you my business card? I didn't want to be rude so I collected the card from him. He asked me for mine but my look said it all. I left him without saying goodbye I was so troubled in my spirit, oh that was rude! Why did I do that?
At lunch time I and Yele met up at our favourite restaurant to have lunch. As we were jisting Samuel came to our table, I was surprised oh I'm sorry I don't mean to be a stalker but I do come here for lunch as well and as I came in I saw you, since we couldn't talk for long this morning I thought we might as well get know each other now. I was dumbfounded, Yele my ever forward and outspoken best friend quickly offered Samuel a sit and introduced herself I was kicking her below the table but she just ignored me. My lunch took another direction it turned to a date with a new friend and my old friend. During our conversation I found out that Samuel works for one of the firms in the building where I work unbelievable!
Its been a month since Samuel became I and Yele's friend, I have gotten used to him now. He is a believer like us and we bond a lot we invited him to church which happened to be another parish of the church he attends back home before he got transferred to the city we lived. One day we went for a gospel concert with Samuel and he invited some friends along with some of our friends we were eight people in total. The concert was wonderful it showed us how song ministration can lift people's spirit up and call them to worship God in truth. As we left the place chatting about how awesome the programme went We bumped into Samuel's old school mate, Edward Savage they spoke at length keeping us waiting. We were introduced to Edward and we left.
One day, Yele said she had something to tell me, she told me how Samuel had gone to our Parish Pastor to inform him about wanting to marry Yele, how the Pastor told her to pray, prayed along with her and how she had finally gotten a confirmation. She told me to join her in prayer over something important that God will give her divine direction some weeks ago. I joined her in prayer and all I got to tell her was "it's divinely approved" which I told her but I didn't ask her further information about the issue. Yele said she have a conviction that Samuel was the man God chose for her. I was happy for Yele, I told her what my mum (Aunty Eunice) said when I went home, Yele knows nothing about my biological parents.
It's been 8 months since Yele and Samuel began their courtship, a wedding date has been chosen. Mum (Aunty Eunice ) came to visit us one day and she saw how involved I was in Yele's wedding preparation. Before she left she said daughter I have a conviction that you are close to being celebrated don't be discouraged! (Hmm I turned 31years and two months ago God I believe that I will be celebrated soon.)
As the wedding day got closer, I began to have deep thoughts about my life when will I be celebrated? One day during the pre wedding shopping Edward took us in his car. I haven't had much time to know him but the shopping trip gave us chance to know each other. He went to same university I went but we never came across each other, he knows some of my friends. We had lot of things in common, he said he had asked Samuel to give him my number but Yele said I wouldn't like it. He had a good job and has done well for himself. Two weeks before the wedding Edward came to our house very early in the morning I wondered why he was there but all he said was Dumi I don't know how to tell you but I want you to be my wife I understand you are a strict person and follow a strict doctrine. I should have gone to speak to your pastor but I want you to know my intentions first I don't mind waiting for you to pray about it. I have prayed and I believe you are meant for me please don't be annoyed I came to your house this early but my spirit has been restless. After his dramatic plea he left, I just sat on the sofa with my head in my hands. Since the day I met Edward at the concert I have heard series of dreams and confirmation from the word of God. Genesis 24:65-67 NIV "and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death."
Yele came to the lounge she said she heard what Edward said and he had told her before but she wasn't sure how I would feel so she told him to come and tell me himself and also pray about it. I told Yele about the recent revelation I had "I saw myself being tendered to by some creatures like angel, they changed my dress and put avtiara on my head, they also gave me keys with different things attached to it. I started unlocking different rooms with the keys the last room I unlocked I saw Edward there he was dressed as a king and when I went in with veil covering my face just has Rebekah covered her face with veil. Edward asked my hand in marriage and we both knelt down in front of a massive creature glowing in white garment stars shining all around Him. He just said you will become one and you will be fruitful and multiply.
I didn't tell anyone the revelation except my mum and she just said keep praying and now I guess God has remembered me. I went home that weekend to speak to my parents (Uncle George and Aunty Eunice). They told me they got a call from our Parish Pastor who is a friend of the family during the week that a guy name Edward came to see him and told him how he had come to me directly. Pastor arranged a meeting with Edward and my parents.
Yele's wedding came just too quick for me, that morning Yele was so happy but when she saw her mum dressed up she couldn't help the tears her mum had waited for 10years after getting married to her dad before she conceived Yele. Yele had a twin that died during their birth and Yele is the only daughter of the family so it was an emotional day for her and her mother. The wedding went so well. Edward was the Best man and I was the Chief bridesmaid. Yele and Samuel went to Tenerife for their honey moon. Its been three month since Edward came to my flat early in the morning and its been a month since we started our courtship.
On the 8th of May I and Edward got married it was 9 month since we met. Peace (Kagiso) my lovely sister was my chief bridesmaid. My wedding was very simple but glorious. Two months after marriage I got pregnant. During my pregnancy I got a letter of promotion from my work place infact it was beyond my expectation. I have waited for this for so long and it just came when I never thought it would. Ephesians 3:20-21 NKJV "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." God is awesome and indescribable.
It's been two years since I got married and it has been the best years. It's a union that keeps drawing me closer to my maker. Marrying a man who loves His creator more than you is the most important thing for a lasting and Heaven bound marriage. My story is just like these words
"An olive has to go through three stages, for its oil to run: It has to go through the shaking, the beating, and the pressing. And just like the olive, some of you may have felt like you go through the shaking, the beating and the pressing. You've gone through all of that for your oil to flow Now, your greater is coming...(Jakelyn Carr)"
You may start rough in life it doesn't mean you will or must end rough, you may stay long in a position it doesn't mean you should write off your dream, you may wait longer than anyone for something it doesn’t mean others will take your portion to add to theirs. Hope differed makes the heart sick but Hope in God increase one's faith and keeps one's focus on the one who can change situations but remains unchangeable.
A dried leaf in the hands of God still has a golden and fruitful future.
