2 Samuel Chapter 13
This chapter, from verses 1–14, exposes the lustful desires in the heart of Amnon toward his sister Tamar. I use the word lust intentionally, because although many Bible translations say Amnon “loved” her, his actions reveal something entirely different. His so‑called “love” drove him to pretend he was sick, a plan he perfected with the help of his cousin Jonadab. Jonadab, after noticing Amnon’s distress, asked what was wrong, and once Amnon confided in him, Jonadab advised him on how to deceive their father David. He told Amnon to request that Tamar be sent to cook for him.
It is worth noting that in those days, royal households had many servants and maids. Why then did David not question why Amnon specifically wanted Tamar? This oversight becomes even more troubling when we consider how women’s rights were often ignored or abused in ancient times. Tamar’s case is a clear example of sexual abuse.
After Amnon lured Tamar into his private quarters and raped her, Scripture says he immediately hated her. This confirms that what he felt was never love—it was lust. Tamar pleaded with him (1 Samuel 13:12), fully aware of the consequences. She even suggested that he ask the king for permission to marry her. Imagine the desperation: she pleaded with her abuser not to violate her, and even offered a lawful alternative because she knew her dignity was about to be destroyed.
A similar incident appears in Genesis 34:1–27, when Dinah, the daughter of Leah, was raped by Shechem, the son of Hamor. Afterward, Shechem requested to marry her, but Dinah’s brothers Simeon and Levi avenged her by slaughtering the men of Shechem’s household.
Sexual lust is dangerous for anyone who refuses to control it. It is not limited to one gender—whoever yields their body to this sin opens the door to the truncation of destiny. The root of this tragedy can be traced back to David’s own sin with Bathsheba and his murder of Uriah. His children became collateral damage.
This situation eventually led Absalom to avenge Tamar. After comforting her, he hid his anger for two years. Shockingly, David allowed Amnon to accompany Absalom to a feast despite the unresolved trauma. Absalom ensured Amnon became drunk, and then instructed his servants to strike him down. The other princes fled, and word reached David that the sword had finally entered his household—his children had begun killing one another.
Lessons from Amnon
- Do not abuse your authority.
- Do not deceive yourself into thinking your sin will not catch up with you.
- Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
- Lust blinded Amnon to the point that he raped his sister, and alcohol clouded his judgment until he lost his life. As the saying goes, what kills a man is often what he loves.
After committing this atrocity, Absalom fled to his mother’s homeland while David mourned yet another son. We must remember the origin of this chaos: David’s killing of an innocent man opened the door for the sword to enter his family. Vengeance became a pattern in his household.
2 Samuel Chapter 14
Not long after these events, David’s heart longed for Absalom. Joab, the commander of the army, noticed this and devised a plan. He brought a wise woman from Tekoa and instructed her to appear before the king as a mourner. She told David a fabricated story about one family member killing another, and asked whether the surviving son should also be put to death. David assured her that no further vengeance would be taken.
The woman then revealed that her story was a reflection of David’s own situation with Absalom. She explained that the people were afraid to speak to the king, which was why she came. Her plea was indirect, but clear: she asked David to forgive Absalom. David later confronted Joab and confirmed that he had orchestrated the entire plan.
David agreed to bring Absalom back but insisted that he must not see his face. Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king.
Absalom was described as exceptionally handsome. Yet despite his outward beauty, his actions were often manipulative. When Joab ignored his request for help in securing an audience with the king, Absalom set Joab’s field on fire to get his attention. Only then did Joab intervene, and Absalom was finally brought before David. The king kissed him and forgave him.
The positive aspect here is Absalom’s desire to be reconciled with his father, which he eventually achieved. However, the deeper lesson is this: never take the law into your own hands. Let justice run its proper course. Because David did little or nothing in response to Amnon’s crime, Absalom took matters into his own hands to avenge his sister. But two wrongs never make a right.
As a parent, David failed Tamar. Unless Scripture omitted it, there is no record of him comforting her, defending her, or restoring her dignity after the ordeal.
