My name is Onavughakpor (meaning who can predict what life can bring). People call me Onos.
I'm into graphic design. As a child I was very creative using everything I could lay my hands on to make different things.
Growing up was not so smooth for me but I never lacked. Being an only child, I found out I was adopted by my parents at 6years after being fostered from 2months old. I couldn't but appreciate the childhood I had.
My passion in creativity grew the more as I became an independent person so I decided to venture fully into graphic design. My work speaks volume anywhere it's showcased and it does me justice. I am recognised worldwide because it has brought me so much fame even to the most remote part of the world. So I must say I was doing well.
My adoptive parents were so much into me having the best in life and as they grew old, they did what parents do. They Started asking me to settle down so they can live to be grandparents.
With my posh lifestyle it was becoming a burden to find true love but something happened on a fateful busy day at work.
A man in his 40s came to sign a contract with my company and he was told I was the lady he needed to speak to if he wanted the best and outstanding designs.
My phone rang and the receptionist told me someone was waiting to see me....
...let him in .... I said...
After exchanging pleasantries we proceeded into business deal. He told me what he wanted and using my design expertise I was able to offer him the best deal and we came into agreement and the deal was signed. As we round up our conversation he ventured into asking me for a drink the next day. I was quite reluctant but there is no harm in trying something new because I hardly socialise outside my family.
The day came and without fuss I got ready for my date. As I walked into the restaurant, I was a bit confused because I couldn't locate the bar. Then a waiter approached me and accompanied me to the gentleman waiting for me at the bar. I couldn't even remember his name this must be the first to me such thing is happening to me but I knew it began with a V I guess I was captivated by his looks.
By the end of the time we spent at the bar, Victor told me his intention of taking the relationship further than business. I'm the type who doesn't like mixing pleasure with business which I told him.
18months down the line the contract signed with Victor Bernard's company was over but Victor seem to have interest in me still. During the period of the contract we met on occasions but my attitude had been just business and nothing else. Victor asked me again if I would consider him.
At 34years I wasn't getting younger and my parents were getting worried. Mum will call to inform me about every wedding of everyone I grew up with in the neoghbourhood. The pressure was rather becoming a load on its own.
I agreed to go in a relationship with Victor and all was good with him. He was such a gentle man. He never allow any opportunity pass him by without reminding me how much he loves me. 8months down the line we got married.
My parents were more ecstatic than I was. A year into the marriage I gave birth to a baby boy. The joy was short lived because he was born with cerebral palsy. At 6months he died. That was the beginning of my marital ordeal.
I got pregnant again, at 8 weeks I lost the pregnancy this happened within two years of marriage I was feeling the weight of these tragedy so bad I had to quit my job. As things became really unbearable Victor stood by me without a doubt. He was the man, the friend, the helper and anything I could ask for.
I was watching TV one afternoon, when I accidentally tuned to a Christian Channel. I don't go to church even though I believe in God. The message caught my attention because it was titled what next after loss.
The preacher was using the story of the woman by the well. How she had 5 husbands. When the Preacher quoted John 4:26 "I am he,” said Jesus. “You don’t have to wait any longer or look any further.”
I felt like I was being spoken to directly as the preacher concluded the he asked those who wanted to give their life to Christ to confess the salvation prayer and I did. I became a born again Christian.
Two weeks later I discovered I was pregnant. One day whilst sleeping I heard Victor talking harshly to someone on the phone I have never heard him speak in that tone before. I laid still in bed but I couldn't figure out who he was talking to.
I spent time joining the church programme on TV and my faith grew. As God will have it I gave birth to two boys with no health condition whatsoever. My parents and everyone were so happy.
At 5months, I took the boys for immunisation. The Nurse that attended to me became so uneasy when she saw my name Onos Bernard. After the immunisation she became being extra nice and inquisitive asking about the children my husband but I didn't think much of it. She told me she was going to be the nurse taking care of the children as she is the new practice nurse.
Being a parent gave me reasons to go back to my dream career so I started my own company and started working from home so I could look after the boys. Mum and Dad spends time when they can to help me out.
One day the Nurse called me, she needed some designs so I decided to give her the address to my house so we could finalise the negotiations.
On getting to my house she was so fixated on Victor's pictures. She was interrogating me again about Victor when we started our relationship and some personal questions. I think whatever she had in mind she couldn't hold it anymore.
....she had to spill it.....
Nurse Ionna came to my house with marriage and divorce papers. She was Victors ex-wife, they have a daughter who has cerebral palsy. That led to their divorce as they couldn't live together with the reality of caring for a disabled child. They quarreled over everything so they decided to divorce but she had the custody of the girl.
She said she was aware Victor remarried but never knew he had another child. She told me she got transferred to our city prior to the first time I took the children for immunisation. Ionna left after divulging the load of a harsh secret of my husband to me.
I was quite unsettled, I put the boys in the car, packed some bits and drove two hours south to my parents. Throughout the drive I was asking Jesus to take the wheel as tears well up in my eyes. My parents couldn't believe it when I told them all that happened even sgowing them the papers Ionna brought because she left a copy for me to show Victor.
I blamed my parents especially my mother for pressuring me into marriage. I didn't leave any message for Victor as to where I was with the children. I also switched my mobile off. My parents called Victor's family to inform them. They confirmed it was true but thought I was aware before marrying Victor.
Two days later He turned up at my parents house. I am torn between giving him a divorce, hearing his part and moving on with the marriage but my faith says no to marrying a divorcee or getting a divorce. What can I do?
What do you think Onos should do?
Is it wise to get a divorce based on what Ionna said?
How will she balance faith with the dilema she is in.
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