Not All That Glitters. 2

This is the concluding part. ..

After the birth of Gabrielle,there was no help from James. He was always conplaining of everything, by then they had stop sexual intercourse. They  literally lived like strangers in the house. The insult was endless, she spoke to one of James's friend's and the guy advised her that when she gets a job she should leave him.

It was always a big arguement with James anytime Arinola wanted to buy Gabrielle's pampers and clothes. Infact right from the birth of Gabrielle he didn't help with the baby's need it was tough for Arinola. Arinola relied on friends who bought everything for Gabrielle, Arinola's friends filled the house with foodstuffs every month talk of God sent and good samaritans. 

Arinola had a medical condition that affected her stomach and the doctor said she should have a scan which didn't cost a fortune. James refused to help Arinola with the money he said she was making it up. Arinola had to call her mother in Nigeria and told her all that has been going on. Arinola's mum was shocked and asked her daughter why she kept it all to herself. Arinola apologised to her mum, she told her mum that she was ashamed and she thought things would change for good.

  
Arinola's mum started sending money from Nigeria abroad for Arinola's and Gabrielle's upkeep. Arinola's mum calls her from time to time,always encouraging and telling her things would be better.

Arinola became a devoted Christian, always going to church and being prayerful, building her relationship with God and learning more about her maker. Her faith grew gradually and she believed that Christ in her is the Hope of glory according to what the scripture says in the book of Colossians 1:27.

One day they had a misunderstanding over the baby's pampers and he hit her directly on her stomach where she already had pain. Arinola became angry and pushed James off the stair although he was unhurt. Arinola endured a lot of pain throughout that day.

When James got to his office he lied against Arinola and reported her to his boss, Arinola had a phone call from James's Boss. He called her ungrateful and wicked girl and that she always frustrates him at home. He wasn't ready to listen to Arinola's part and hanged up on her.

It was unbelieveable how News traveled within the Nigeria community where they lived. The NEWS had spread around and no one wanted to speak or have anything to do with Arinola. Arinola wasn't bothered by the Nigerian community reactions towards her. James refused to buy baby's things and Arinola had to beg her friends to help her out.

THEN HELP CAME!
Arinola visited a friend,she slept over at her friend's with Gabrielle. She actually took permission from James before that she and Gabrielle will be away for the weekend and he granted them permission. He later called  Arinola's Pastor and told him that he doesn't know Arinola's whereabout. He said that the church should help that he can't stand living with them again.

The pastor called Arinola to discuss with her about it and other things. The pastor suggested they got married that things will change(the  pastor was aware of all that has been happening). Arinola was upset because of the pastor's advise. She felt like they were mocking her. Arinola asked if the pastor could help her with basic needs and he said no. He also said that the Church can not help her because they were not the one who paid for her fare or brought her abroad. The church failed her at this point, Arinola was broken hearted she meditated on Mark 12:31 NKJV "And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”  If this is the command of God why was she been treated like this by the church. Arinola relied on the comfort from the Holy Spirit.

After the ridiculous suggestion from the pastor she stopped attending that church. Arinola  was bittered by the situation and the fact that the church couldn't help her was a shocker!

The situation made her grow inner strength and she was ready to fight back with everything.The week Gabrielle turned eleven months, James pounced on her again. He threatened to kill her because she didn't allow him to have sexual intercourse with her. When James left for work,Arinola called her friend, who came and saw the way she looked. Arinola's friend took her and her baby to the police.

When they got to the police station, she was told she couldn't go back home that James might kill her. The police did all the paper works and they were taken to a shelter home. Psalms 46:1 NKJV "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."

I GOT MY HEALING.

They were in the shelter home for some months,she filled a case against him using the lawyer the government provided for them. The shelter was  filled with different kinds of women that had similar or same issue to Arinola's. She  couldn't comunicate with anyone outside there. All because of safety and laws guarding the women in shelter.

Arinola begged them that her parents and family will be worried and they finally allowed her to call her parents. She was only allowed to receive call once a week. It was a time of reflection and restoration for Arinola.  She went to the first hearing at the court. The court said they could send James out of the house and Arinola and Gabrielle would live there,while he pays the bills.

Arinola told the court everything, she told them  all she wanted was her freedom from abuse and violence. The case favoured Arinola and her wish was granted. James was told to pay child support every month. Arinola also filed another case against James in order to prevent James from coming near her and her  daughter all her wish was granted.

In the months of been at the government shelter her life changed, she met with the king of kings,she met Jesus, yes she met her saviour he healed her. Finally she was able to move on with her life, she moved out of the government shelter and out of the state James lived. She has started afresh with her child and God on her side.

It was a bitter lesson for Arinola and she is happy God saved her and her daughter from untimely death which the devil could have used James to fulfill. Up till now James still sends messages to Arinola's family he threatens that  Arinola would go to jail. To God be the glory she learnt her lessons even though it was a hard way to learn but the grace of God saw her through.

Arinola didn't share her story in order for anyone to curse James but to pray for him and educate people. Also to enlighten young ones out there that All that Glitters is not Gold. Marriage is honourable if the bed is undefiled. Co-habiting is a sin don't dwell in it. No one is above mistake but when you keep falling into same mistake you need divine encounter. Please pray before you go into any relationship.

Thanks for reading....

Not All That Glitters. 1

This is a True Life Story, although the character has been changed and other things in order to protect the owner of the story.

Arinola a bubbly young lady from a comfortable family.  Grew up in the city of Lagos Nigeria. She is ambitious and talented  whatever she finds her hand doing,  she does it well. After her Tertiary education she gained employment into a good firm. She earn a decent wage for living for a single lady and life was good. One day something happened that changed her life, she met a guy called James.

Arinola and James,met through Arionla's colleague at work,she was a writer in one of the most popular Magazine in  Lagos Nigeria. She enjoyed her writing skills and was passionate about it. She usually writes about domestic Violence.

When she was introduced to James,she felt he would just be a normal friend like most guys she had been introduced to that has lived abroad all their life. He left Nigeria at a tender age. They became good friends, they exchanged emails and calls most time. As time went on they became lovers.

One particular holiday period, she visited him spending  two weeks in order to get to know him more. She was already in love with him and all she could find out was that he was a loving man. Arinola met James's mum and sisters(James's  Dad is late). She felt so welcomed that she was looking forward to settling down with her dream man(James) someday.

Their relationship grew deep and they became fond of each other. James asked her to join him abroad for greener pastures and they will get married afterwards then start a family. All arrangements were made and she joined James abroad.

On getting to the new country, Arinola realized she couldn't get a job immediately because of the language barrier, she embarked on a course to learn the language. Whilst she was trying to put necessary requirements in order to secure a job in place, she found out she was pregnant.

That changed the love life of this supposed lovebirds.  James started smoking weed in the house, to Arinola's amazement. She couldn't believe it because she had never seen him had alcohol not to talk of smoking.

She thought she could change him so she decided to speak to him about it. All her pleading and advice was a waste of time and energy because James didn't yield positively. He became a strange person,  he will go out for days and not even call to inform her about his whereabout or check on her well being.

The journey of pregnancy was traumatic for Arinola because anytime James followed her to Anti-Natal(s) clinic, he will rain insults on her. Arinola found comfort in crying all day life was becoming unbearable day after day living with James.

She had a saving grace one day  when James's sister called from Nigeria that she will be visiting them when she comes to deliver her baby( James' s sister). She was so glad and overjoyed because prior to that call, she was suicidal. She awaited the arrival of  Rolake (James's sister). At least she will have someone to share her pain and situation with.

Rolake arrived and Arinola told her everything that has  been happening (Rolake stayed at a Hotel during her visit). Rolake led Arinola l to Christ Jesus and told  her to be prayerful. Rolake also said if she had met Arinola one on one before she relocated with James that she would have advised  her against such decision. Rolake promised to speak to her brother and that she will report the case to their mum back in Nigeria.

Rolake was God sent to Arinola. She lectured Arinola about God and told her  to go back to her parent in Nigeria and stop co-habiting with her brother(James) bevause its a sin before God. Rolake told Arinola how irresponsible and rude James was. When she(Rolake) spoke to James about the situation, he insulted her (Rolake).

He called his sister all nasty names you can think of. No one was respectable at the sight of James this shocked Arinola. He banned  Arinola from using His mobile phone. He went to Arinola's facebook page blocked all her male friends and other female friends. He became very controlling beating her at will, home became a living hell.

Most discussions with him resulted into insult. Sexual intercourse was a rape session between them Arinola was the victim. Arinola was falling apart she couldn't think straight. She summoned the courage and  started attending Sunday church service with Rolake. She got to meet new people and made new friends.

Everyone advised Arinola to wait in order to get her permanent residence in the country whilst living with James before she leaves and also to have her baby. People bought clothes for her and feed her whilst James neglected her. All the hormonal changes of pregnancy took place without support from her baby father.

He became more violent towards her beating her till she couldn't move. One day the police came in after Rolake called them when James was beating Arinola because she was visiting them. Rolake spoke on Arinola's behalf because of  language barrier. Rolake told the Police that Arinola was pregnant, James told the policemen to take Arinola away and that she has no right to stay in the country.

That day Arinola felt like the ground should open and swallow her. How could someone who brought her to a foreign land, someone she loved do such to her, she could not hold the tears back as it fell. That night she had to sleep at Rolake's hotel room.

Some weeks later Rolake had her baby and was ready to move back to Nigeria. It was like she shouldn't go because Arinola has grown to confide in her and seek help through her from the police. At the airport they both cried but couldn't console each other. Rolake prayed for Arinola and insisted she should  be prayerful but take necessary steps

After Rolake left, Arinola moved back to James's place she was five month pregnant. She and James had another arguement and as usual he hit her again. The neighbours called the police  and the police made her sign a lawsuit against him for her safety.

On the 19th of February she delivered Gabrielle a beautiful girl. She was so happy, She thought things would be better now that she has a child for him but that was the begining of an unending abuse based relationship.

To be Continued stay tuned for the next part.