The last thing I could remember was me taking 10Tablets of Diazepam 2mg each. I knew I was abusing the drug. It was given to me under prescription due to my lack of sleep which I have been suffering from for a month now.
Here I am in the Hospital, with my friend Laura looking sadly at me and asking me why I tried to take my life.
I was fed up of everything and how my life is turning. All that has made me happy is gradually turning the other way round.
I Lexy, was the envy of friends and colleagues. I was married to the best man any lady can dream of. Damien was a good man. We had started our relationship from our University days. He was the class reperesentative and I was his assistant. A very understanding man, a Christian with values and fear of God. I was an adopted child but did not know until my 3rd year of marriage.
I was raised by a lovely couple who adopted me after all chances of them having their biological child failed. I was pampered, well thaught and never lacked anything. My mum(adopted) was a teacher while my dad(adopted) was an Ambassador. With their status I was able to visit many countries of the world. I could speak 3languages(English, Spanish and French). I was never treated like an adopted child, I was surrounded with/by love. Life was so good.
At 16years dad got me my first car, when I finished my Phd He gave me my second car. When it was time to marry and I told them about Damien and his background even though his family were not so rich they still accepted him for who he was.
My happiness was their priority.
That day in August I was busy with work at the research firm which belongs to dad(I didn't know till his death). I had a distress call from his P.A.(personal assistant). I drove down informing Damien about it on phone and he met me there. Dad had slipped into coma from sleep. Mum called the specialist to come home. He was later transfered to the Hospital. He passed on two weeks later, he never came out of the coma. It was a bad time for me, I was 3months pregnant my third year of marriage. The shock cost me my pregnancy.
Mum could not cope she died barely 3weeks after that. I had to take a leave to come and see to her needs daily. She told to me during one of those days that I was adopted. She gave me my mum(biological) pictures and name. She lived up North as at the last time she contacted them. I was upset, confused but I loved my parents. I forgave them, they gave me the best life. She died in my arm one morning. It was a dark and horrible August. Three lives lost within a month.
Damien and his family stood by me but I miss my parents. I vouch not to search for my real mother because I saw no need. All the McCarthy's properties was willed to me. I was their only child and next of kin.
At 34years old I became a billionaire. Life was good. Plus I was a born again Christian thank God for Damien. He led me to Christ and we have been doing good until one day, one very day.
My In-Laws came to visit, it was July 21st Damien's birthday. They stayed over the weekend because it was his 40th birthday. Everything went well.
The day they were to leave I was helping Damien's Mum with her suitcase when the zip of the suitcase snapped and she could not use it. I took one of mine out while emptying it some pictures dropped on the floor. Damien's mum picked them and she looked at them,she asked me who it was. I told her she was my biological mum. Although they all knew now that I was adopted but I never told them I had the pictures or contact details of the person only Damien Knew. Then her countenance changed towards me.
Two months after that Damien was on the phone to His Mum and I noticed that since the last time My mother in-law visited when she calls and I pick up the phone she hang up on me. I told Damien but He said I shouldn't be paranoid that it's nothing. He had a call on the mobile and requested I hold the receiver of the home phone which is mother called him on.
The Reason...
My Mother In law
She said" Damien my son you are no more a child. We need our grand child. Since that horrible neighbour's daughter(your wife) lost the pregnancy she hasn't conceived who knows what she did with her youth. I told you that day you dropped me at the train station I knew her biological mother. She is my neighbour here, she used to live up North but moved south a year ago. She sleeps with anything, anyman. She is a shame to womanhood. How I wish I don't know her. Damien find a way to get someone pregnant then you can present the person as a surrogate mum or the child as adopted child to your wife" Then Damien came in, I had tear waiting to drop in my eyes but I hid it from Damien, handed the receiver to him and left the House.
The following months were horrible months, I and Damien gradually grew apart from each other. No more surprise gift(because I told him not to bother giving excuse there is no place to store them), no more dinner out. He was always working late but we go to church together with fake smiles similar and clothes. My marriage was shaky I prayed but never took steps. Those words his mum said always stopped me from acting when I should. When I got to work I lived a different life from my home, happy at work very sad at home.
On the Morning of my birthday which was also our 5th wedding anniversary I was 37years. A text came through on Damien's mobile and it said" hey lover boy, it's happened what your wife can't give you for five years I have achieved in 5months. I am 5weeks pregnant. We need to celebrate will be expecting you xxx Tracey".
Damien came in with breakfast in one hand and my birthday present in another. I could not be bothered, as soon as he entered I asked him who Tracey was. I asked about 10questions in a minute. I went to him and requested for answers. I became historical, I could not hold myself. How dare you Damien? How dare you?
With tears he told me Tracey was one of His childhood friend whom he ran into 6months ago. He spent those late nights with her. I could not believe my ears, here I was being a good wife. He was busy with another Lady. His mum encouraged him he said because she wanted to see her grandchild. He said he tried to tell me but couldn't face me,he wanted to stop but he couldn't. Oh Damien! Everynight we prayed together even though our marriage was shaky, He deflowered me on our wedding night. We went to church, he conducted Bible studies.
I was angry I took the gift he bought for my birthday,smatched it, told him what I heard on the phone that day he asked me to hold the receiver, all what his mum said about me and asked him to leave me alone now,I cried, I blamed God, I blamed my biological mum, I blamed my adopted parents for dieing.
Late in the night Damien came back from work. I saw him but ignored him we slept on thesame bed but my husband felt like a stranger to me.He tried to talk to me, played my favourite song"In Christ alone my Hope is found" he did all he could. I saw my husband cry for the first time he broke down he couldn't help seeing me the way I was.Unfortunately I had harden my heart I told him I wanted a divorce. I had contacted my solicitor during the day. He could not believe me. He stood there staring at me, he could not sleep in our room he moved to the guest room.
My solicitor came home to see me. She is a good friend of the family, she wanted to know why I was filling for divorce but I just said the marriage was not working. She couldn't believe it, she was my chief brides maid on our wedding day. She plead with me and urge me to pray. We prayed together and she left. At exactly three months the divorce paper came through. That was it, I had lost it, my love, my home, my salvation. Oh my!
Damien refused to share my property with me,he insisted that we be friends which I declined. Damien had moved out a week now but he calls everyday to check on me. His sister Rhoda comes almost everyday to check on me. She never supported her brother or mum even though he was her only sibling. She stood by me. She had promised to come one afternoon after work. She loved the view outside my living room you could see the sunset. She takes different pictures of it anytime she comes round.
She was the one that called the emergency service when she realised I have used drug overdose. She read the suicide note. I had told her I wont be in but she could come and wait for me at home. She arrived 30minutes after I took the drug. I woke up in the hospital 2days later. Rhoda and Laura my friend had been taking turn to stay with me in the hospital.
After narrating everything to Laura she held me so tight and we wept. I had no sibling, no family apart from my husband, my biological mother(whom I don't know) and my Mum in-law turned my husband against me by encouraging him to do what he did. Rhoda came in she was glad I was ok. She said she had been to see Damien and that he was in the hospital but he is waiting outside.
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