*Dealing with grief, stillbirth, child loss or miscarriage as a believer*
Grief is something way to heavy for any one to bear let alone grieving the young.
The current atmosphere around the world I bet doesn't help anyone who finds themselves in a position of grief. It takes the grace of God.
Talking about stillbirth, child loss or any of the stated types of grief can be a taboo in some culture. It's something never spoken of but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
God has given us grace to bear certain things and He will not allow anything too much for us to bear.. let's look at the scripture...
The Lord both kills and gives life; he brings down to the grave and raises up.
1 Samuel 2:6 NET
https://bible.com/bible/107/1sa.2.6.NET
This may seem rather strange or untrue but it's recorded in the scripture. As they say in my language no leaf fall off its branch without the knowledge of God. He is aware of it all. It doesn't come to Him as a surprise never because He is the Alpha and Omega.
This doesn't imply that God is an assassin or serial killer but brings to light that He is aware of everything.
After any grief of any kind the people left always have somethings in common.. which are questions..
*The Questions*
Why me?
Why us?
How come?
Where is God?
Is there still God?
Did God forsake me?
How can I forget this?
How do I deal with this?
The questions can be endless.. How do you answers such questions asked by a woman who suffered stillbirth or miscarriage and on top of it no support emotionally either from their spouse or family.
How do you answer question from another who groom their child to a certain age and suddenly life was snuffed out of them?
How do you encourage someone who had laboured over a child, laboured in God's vineyard and suddenly suffer a loss in this way?
The only person that can answer those questions accurately is God almighty.
Yes God almighty, but He can still use you and I as a vessel of comfort for people in these situation.
*Emotions*
Guilt
Shame
Fear
Doubt
Lack of faith
Heart break
Loss of Hope and dreams
There are several other emotions that runs through the mind of any one who has lost a child either as a miscarriage, stillbirth, accident whatever it may be.
All these emotions must be acknowledged and shared before it eats further into the life of the person experiencing it or those around them as well.
It is very important to voice out to the right people who can support you and never assume that people should understand how you feel if you do not share what you are encountering.
It is good to ask questions, yes don't just ask yourself, where possible see a Christian psychologist, counsellor or therapist.
*Where does comfort come from?*
As said earlier God is the only one that can comfort and just as the verse below explains..
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God [Who is the Source] of every comfort (consolation and encouragement), Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/2co.1.3-4.AMPC
The only one who understands how it hurts, where it hurts and where to intervene is God. He will not come down to do that though, He will use people around you, use situations to speak to you.
In fact God can use you as a channel to heal others while you overcome your loss and become stronger each and everyday.
It is also important to be sensitive to people around us especially when they go through such blow in life. Don't take their silence as ignorance, don't take any sudden change in their life as a pinch of salt. Some might not talk they might seem okay but deep down are hurting, depressed and even at times begin to blame themselves.
*Moving on!*
Yes moving on is possible and it's important, don't think you are abusing the memory of the one that you lost, think what would they want you to do after what happened. I remember when I lost my dad, it took me almost 7years to get over it and I still struggle at times but I know my heavenly father is there.
For just as Christ's [own] sufferings fall to our lot [as they overflow upon His disciples, and we share and experience them] abundantly, so through Christ comfort (consolation and encouragement) is also [shared and experienced] abundantly by us.
2 Corinthians 1:5 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/2co.1.5.AMPC
There is no suffering we go through that God isn't aware of no matter what it may be.
You need to understand that God is still in control and while you're still here on earth you have a lot to fulfill and you must be in the right state of mind to move on and be in control.
Does it mean you forget your loss or you forget the baby, the person or whichever applies no. You carry them inside of you knowing that they are in a better place.
It might be easy to say but the truth is when we are in Christ we just don't die like anyone in the world.. we sleep in Christ.
There is hope for you even after the miscarriage, after the still birth and that loss...
I understand for parents of grown up children who die suddenly or even after illness it's like where and who can replace this loss.
Who can heal this loss, who can fill this void.
The truth is your comfort, healing and moving on starts from the moment you share your experience with God and the right people.
You will be amazed how your encounter can save others and encourage them more. Also how it helps you to heal and look up to God.
*Who to lean on*
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/pro.3.5-6.AMPC
The best way to deal with this, get healed and move on is by leaning on God almighty..
Yes lean on Him some loss might be irreplaceable physically but there is no void that God cannot fill. He is God remember.
Some people who have suffered miscarriages have either been told not to cry because they didn't give birth to the baby.
That is not a great way to console or comfort anyone... Even if they never saw the child it's still part of them.
At times people say things like you will have another one, please be mindful because you do not know the mindset of the person.
Worst of it all is spouse who find it hard to comfort each other not out of spite but because they do not even know how to.
Don't think only women suffer, the father suffer as well.they might not show it..
As friends, family, colleague, church members, pastor, whoever you are to them what they need is your listening hear, comforting embrace which can either be through your words of encouragement and ability to be a confidant.
Be Inspired by His word 2021©️
