Having difficult conversations with our children

*RECAP* 

 *RAISING GODLY CHILDREN ON MONDAY, 23RD AUGUST, 2021* 

 *Topic: Having difficult conversations with our children*  

Examples of some difficult topics are below:  

1). Divorce  

2).Death  

3). Rape  

4). Financial challenge  

5). Terminal illness  

6). Congenital illness  

7). Faith

8). Sexuality/Sexual orientation

1. *Divorce*: is something that children might get caught up in the midst of their parents happen to be going through it. If the grounds of divorce is mutual it can make it easy for the children but to be honest separation is not easy on any child except in extreme cases where violence is involved and someone might end up dead if they don't separate. In such case it might be a bit easy to say because of this and that we have to go our separate ways but one thing with children is that whatever they see or go through is like a seed. They grow with the memories and it takes the grace of God for them to actually come out of it with being damaged or partially condemned  

So discussion of divorce can be quite difficult. In some cases they recommend that you get therapist involved, because the children can face series of bullying and other things that can make them feel unworthy. You know kids can easily pick on each other and some children will bottle this up inside them for so long.  

If you look in our society now and the adult the millennial or whatever generation before them many are like damaged goods producing damaged generation. The reason is that many went through so much growing up but they were not addressed correctly and now they just live as the flow comes. It is always important as parents gets support and therapy the child or children gets as well. As you pray for the divorcees pray for their children as well if they have any because some hurts can linger longer than envisaged.  

2. *Death* : This is a big one that many fail to inform or teach their child or children about. As parents it is important to teach our children that life has an end just as it has a beginning. It's not an easy conversation. And African myth that when someone talks about death is because they want to die doesn't help the situation.  

 

3  *Rape* : This sounds like a forbidden thing that many will not want to discuss with their child.  Yes it's not something easy to discuss or worth discussing about, but there is no point waiting for it to happen before discussing it. We live in a world where people are wicked. They breath in evil and breath out destruction. We must inform our children and let them know how to make informed decision and not fall victim and also be able to report any kind of sexual assaults or rape. Also we must let them know that it is sin to cry rape when you give consensual sex. Yes tell them when you say yes you have given consent when you say yes in the beginning then no and the person continues then it's rape. Even if it happens in marriage, Don't just talk about rape with your girls tell your son's as well. They must know when someone says no and be the gentleman.  

 

4. *Financial challenge* : This is another one. At times as parents to safe face we don't want to tell our children that finances aren't great. We want them to always feel like Daddy and mummy have it all under control or perhaps you're a single parents you are bursting your ass trying to get all what that child needs just to safe face, Heyyy it's okay to let that child or children know when finances aren't great. It is important to let them know you work for money. It is okay to let them know God is the one who gives you power to get wealth. It is okay to tell them when you can't afford that thing that you can't afford it. It is okay, some parents will go into debt just to safe face you are not helping your child that way, In fact show them how you make ends meet.  If you work salary job and do other legit business to make ends meet tell them. Don't just be superwoman or superman parents they need to know that in life we work and we save for raining days and when life happens we don't give up we keep going and doing illegal business or runs for quick money is never the way out or asking for miracle money not backed by the scripture  

5. *Terminal illness:* This age we live in aside Covid we hear of different illness in fact you will hear some and wonder what is this. Any thing can lead to terminal illness but as we let them know we must also inform them that God is able. God can turn around the tides. God can heal and when it doesn't happen it doesn't mean God failed, God took the person at the appointed time  

 

It is also important to highlight to them some self derived terminal illness. Like smoking leading to lung cancer etc. Always let them know that medics care but God is the healer. Having said that He can use any medium to heal. Either supernaturally or through science. Yes because He gave scientists the knowledge and they will never know more than God.  

Stories like Job’s sickness, woman with issue of blood, man by the pool of Bethesda, the mad man of gadara, the centurions daughter, dead Lazarus, the widow's son and many more stories are evident stories that we can use to teach them of supernatural healing and ability to possess divine health  

6. *Congenital illness* : are sickness that people suffer from birth. Such as sickle cell, Hole in the heart, Juvenile arthritis, Brittle bones osteoporosis, and so many disease that people are born with even disabilities like Multiple sclerosis, Down syndrome and others.  It is worth letting your child know that we are all made uniquely with unique DNA and some of this disease can be as a result of extra DNA or missing Chromosome according to science but it doesn't mean God doesn't love the person or they are created by devil or descendant of devil.  

 

7. *Faith:* it is important to always discuss the importance of faith in all this conversation because without faith it is impossible to please God when your child knows where their faith is and where your faith is when they face challenges from any of the discussed issues they go back to the manual of life the word of God to draw strength and faith. That is why it's important to allow the word to dwell in your spirit. When it comes to your children as well they must not just know it as memory verse, they must know it like as if their life depends on it.  

8. *Sexuality/sexual orientation:* This age we live in we hear read and see a lot. It is important to let your child and children know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Drawing knowledge from faith will enable them to understand this and perhaps they find themselves in a strange land they will not be swayed by false doctrines and regulations. They also need to know that treating anyone who doesn't believe in the sexuality or sexual orientation with respect is wrong. You can not share love if you are filled with judgement and hate. Always remember what will Jesus do.  

Above all remember that you will account and I will account before God how I raise the gift He placed in my custody because as parents we are custodian God is the real parents.

Thank you all for staying attentive and contributing I hope you were blessed and I pray that God will increase His divine wisdom in us. We will not miss it.

Prayer:

All our children will grow in God's wisdom and stature and every negative influence is negated. We also decree that sickness disease and untimely death will not make our home an abode. We pray that all facing financial challenge will begin to live in divine abundance and all that are sick receive healing in Jesus name.

Remember Jesus loves you so much thanks so much for reading.